Here's some ways to practice safe Genital Herpes Sex.
If you are dating someone with herpes or are about to, these guidelines can help you and your partner enjoy sex while still being responsible and careful about it.
Your sex life is not over! That's how you will first feel after a genital herpes diagnosis. All you can think about is how people will never want to have sex with you again. You might be feeling dirty, lonely, ashamed, almost like a leper in the Bible.
That's a bunch of garbage. It is your Inner Critic talking to you, tearing you down. The reality is much different. You still have all your beauty and sexiness inside.
Millions of people have genital herpes around the world. Millions of people are still having sex lives, honestly, openly, with non positive partners, or other positive partners.
You will have to make some changes. But cheer up, life, love, and sex will continue.
So here's some advice about Genital Herpes Sex. Call it my top ways to practice safe sex with genital herpes:
1. Genital Herpes Does Not Have to be an Obstacle
This is a big thing to understand and accept in your mind. Lot's of people, millions, still have active sex lives after diagnosis. Genital Herpes is what you make of it in your mind.
You can avoid sex with Genital Herpes or you can have an active, loving, tender sex life. It's your choice. What kind of sex life would you like?
Those of us who have had Genital Herpes for many years find that it just becomes more of an "inconvenience" more than a barrier. Your sex life is not over. You just have a new one beginning.
2. Get Honest with Yourself and Your Partner
This is a requirement. You must tell your partner about your condition as soon as possible. This will help you have better, more fulfilling, genital herpes sex more than anything.
Everybody values honesty in relationships and in the bedroom. It's sexy and deeply fulfilling.
First of all, ACCEPT that you have genital herpes. Learn about the Virus. Do some things to accept it spiritually.
And begin improving your health with better diet and exercise. Do everything you can to find peace with it. Because if you're upset, angry, or in denial, you won't be much of a sexual partner. You must find some self love and acceptance so you can share this inner love with your partner.
Then be sure to TELL your partner before you have sex. Follow some of these Guidelines for Telling Someone when you give "the talk".
Your partner has to accept this like you have to. They have the right to know about "your condition". And if they don't want to take the chance of catching the virus, then let them go with love. You'll find someone else. Even consider using a Herpes Dating Site.
When you find a partner that will accept you (pretty easy to do, trust me), you will be able to practice a deep open intimacy that will make your sex like DYNAMITE. To practice genital herpes sex like this really is loving, and well, the way sex should be.
3. Avoid Sex During Outbreaks
This should be pretty obvious as you learn about the Genital Herpes virus. You will have many outbreaks in the beginning of catching the virus. Over time, your body will develop antibodies and the outbreaks will be less severe and less often.
Most people with the virus will feel Early Symptoms of Herpes. If you feel any of these early symptoms, especially itching or tingling, then avoid sex. Tell your partner what is happening.
During outbreaks, it is not safe to practice any type of sex involving your genital area. Even condoms, spermicides are not effective in preventing this virus from spreading during an outbreak. Best to hold off from genital herpes sex of any sorts.
During your outbreak, try some different type of sex. You can give oral sex to your partner. Maybe play with some sex toys. Expand your imagination. Ask your partner what they would like to do.
It is best to avoid sex until 3-5 days after your outbreak has healed also.
It's not the end of your sex life, it's just a change.
4. Take Suppressive Medication
One of the reasons that Genital Herpes Virus is spreading so quickly is asymptomatic shedding (when the virus sheds without a visible outbreak).
When you are shedding this way, you could be risking spreading the virus in your sex life and not even feel or see any symptoms of outbreaks.
So what can you do to prevent asymptomatic shedding? Taking suppressive medication like Valtrex or Acyclovir will help tremendously in reducing, if not eliminating this shedding.
This will also reduce the number of your outbreaks which means more opportunities to have good safe sex.
Taking suppressive medication will also make your partner feel much safer with genital herpes sex. You want your partner to get as comfortable with this as much as possible.
It takes two to tangle under the sheets :-)
5. Practice Slow Loving
Having Genital Herpes Sex and responsible safe sex with Genital Herpes means going a little slower. Your sex life is not over, it's just changing.
As you learn to be more honest, more accepting, and more loving in your sex life, you'll find yourself GOING SLOWER.
You won't be rushing to "hook up" and "get laid" so quickly. You'll have to get to know the other person. Enjoy dating. Go out for some long walks. Go look at some art. Go dancing.
Let love and honesty grow between you and your partner. It's slower, but way more meaningful than quick sex. This is a big lesson I've learned from many years of having genital herpes, to take things so much slower with people. It's wonderful, but different. But so much more loving.
When you have this kind of relationship with your partner, the sex will be more careful. It will be slower, with a deeper passion. It is something to be experienced.
Like I said, your sex life is not over, a new sex life is just beginning.
So what will be your choice?
You do things the hard miserable way like many of us have done in the Herpes community. You can do miserable things like:
Or you can begin getting honest, responsible, active, and loving.
And use this whole experience to develop a different deeper dimension of love and sex. One with rich honesty and acceptance and self love.
And when you do that, you will have the best sex of your life. Even genital herpes sex.
Page last updated: January 7, 2014