by Beth

I have been diagnosed with herpes, and I'm scared to death and mad oh so so so mad. I have what looks and acts like my first herpes outbreak on the end of my spine just above and to the left of my butt crack.

I have NEVER had sex, oral sex, anal sex, none of that NEVER kissed or touched anyone in the last year and a half and according to my doctor she believes its herpes and that's that. She gave me pills for my next outbreak and then I was out the door. She assumes I got it from a toilet.

I've been a mess, it's been three days and I just cry. I've lost 3 pounds, everything hurts, and I don't know what to do. Do you believe its herpes? Do I go get a second opinion? I'm so lost.


Dear Beth,

First of all, I’m sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. The first outbreak is usually the worst for most people. But cheer up; it only gets better from here. Herpes may not have a cure as of late, but it is treatable and easily manageable with precaution and proper knowledge of the infection. So the faster you take action by taking your medication, the faster the healing process.

The mode of transmission for the herpes virus is by skin-to-skin
contact. That means, not through aerosols or an exchange of fluids. The herpes virus also dies fairly quickly outside the body. So unless, you immediately sat on a toilet seat where a herpes positive person (with an active outbreak) previously occupied, then it is highly unlikely you acquired herpes in that way.

Had your doctor ordered a blood test for herpes? Had your doctor made swabs of your sores to send to a lab for viral culture? Only through reliable blood and culture tests will you be absolutely sure that you’re positive for herpes.

If in case the results come back negative and you still experience the signs and symptoms of a herpes infection, it probably means that your body hasn’t quite produced the antibodies against herpes for the lab test to efficiently detect. That means it was only a false negative.

Best is to get a second opinion if you are unsure about the diagnosis. In the meantime, do equip yourself with reading and researching all you can about the herpes virus. Knowing what you are up against is only half the battle. Knowing how to deal with your opponent is the other half.

My Herpes Survival Guide has tons of tips and advice on how to live happily and healthily with herpes.

Trust me; it’s not the end of the world. Herpes does not define you as a person.



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