Twelve Years Later: It's Not That Bad
I have had herpes for 12 years. I got it from an oral cold sore on the only sexual partner I had ever had. We got married, and he never had an outbreak, so I never passed it on to him over 12 years of having sex. The first couple of years I had several outbreaks, probably mostly because I was under a lot of outside stress and not sleeping well.
In the past 7 years, I only had one minor outbreak that went away quickly with antibiotics. I actually forgot to tell a partner I had after I got divorced, because I had hardly thought about it for the last few years.
I still feel really bad about it, but he didn't get it either. I had one boyfriend since. He said from the beginning he didn't want a serious relationship. I told him I had Herpes and we had sex once, but some time went by and he thought about it and said he just wasn't comfortable with the risk.
I am really worried about finding someone who will stay with me awhile, and not be scared off by it. It seems ridiculous to me, because it's really not that bad once you've had it for a while. I know anyone that really values me as a person will see that I'm worth it, but it's a matter of getting close enough to someone first so that they can see my good qualities.
The experience of another young reader on this website who had 2 relationships that weren't affected by Herpes was very encouraging.