Herpes Will Change My Life
(Buffalo, New York)
Well, let's just say my wife and I are both professionals living in an upscale neighborhood in the northeast US. My home sex life was failing and my wife was disinterested in having sexual relations with me. I tried speaking with her candidly but she never really got the gravity of the situation. There were years where we would only have sex 2 or 3 times.
My fantasies got the best of me and I began to pursue online escort agencies. It became an addiction of mine. Which I realize now. I contracted HSV 2 and passed it to her and had to spill the beans. She was angry but also understanding sharing the blame.
We were very upset for a a couple of weeks as details of my escapades unraveled. We looked introspectively at our life to determine what went wrong. We came to the conclusion that we were not living a balanced life only seeking financial gratification and professional rewards while ignoring our 2 wonderful boys. We had become angry, self-serving people without any regard for the people we really loved. We wanted to use this as an opportunity to change our life and open our hearts to our family and children.
It's only been a couple of weeks. She is over the initial trauma but I am still having difficulty facing reality. I am also swimming in a sea of guilt. The room has not stopped spinning in 3 weeks and I have not had a good night sleep in a month, even though I have taken medication and am seeing a therapist. I am hoping to see the light soon and transfer my lessons to my children. At first I was looking for a cure. Now I am hoping to see the light and all that having an annoying, non fatal, controllable STD can teach me about life.
I continue to tell myself that this is for the best and that these life lessons would not have been learned if this all did not happen. My wife has amazingly been supportive. I am running out of things to think of and read to console myself. Needless to say that my problem reaches far beyond herpes, but having herpes is definitely not helping. All of this might not have come to light had I not contracted herpes and my relationship with my wife and kids would have undoubtedly deteriorated over time.