Here's some tips for successful genital herpes dating. After your diagnosis, it's not easy getting out and dating again. Common feelings after a Herpes diagnosis include:
So with all this going on in your head and heart.. it's a challenge to get "out there" again and begin going out on dates, getting intimate, having sex, and even a relationship.
You might be asking "How can I begin dating and loving again with genital herpes?"
Here's some tips I've learned from my own life and from speaking to others who do genital herpes dating...
1. Get Yourself AND Your Partner tested. You must know for sure if you have herpes and what type. So you will need to go and visit a doctor. You can find testing resources here: Herpes Tests.
Remember, not all doctors test for herpes, so you must ask. The best test is a blood test, HerpesSelect. But you can get other tests sooner.
Once you have been tested, and your partner has been tested, then you will be able to accept your situation and be honest. Honesty is the basis of any long term happiness or relationship.
2. Get Emotional Support. A genital herpes diagnosis is devastating. It feels that way. Many people quit dating altogether after this. I lived in a "cave" for many years, because I was scared and worried about rejection.
It does not have to be that way. As soon as you can, begin networking with other people who have the virus.
When you meet other people with herpes, you will learn so much more about this virus. And you'll learn how to go about dating and having relationships. And best of all, you'll get a support network you can turn to when you're down and out.
3. Begin Growing Individually. Genital herpes dating demands that you be strong and self accepting inside. You'll be challenged after your diagnosis.
So take some time to reflect on what makes you so special. Maybe take a self improvement course or a class on relationships. Write down what you're looking for in life and in a romantic partner.
Doing this type of work will make you a lot more attractive to potential partners. Much better to develop beauty and happiness INSIDE first, before looking for outside of yourself.
4. Get Social! My experience and what my herpes friends tell me about the first step to rebuilding your social life is to start "getting out" and meeting people.
Meeting lots of people and going out on some dates will make you more comfortable with genital herpes dating. You'll begin to realize it's not such a big deal to have this virus.
5. Be Honest and Have "The Talk". At some point, you will want to date someone outside of the herpes community. So you will have to tell them you have genital herpes.
Telling someone that you have herpes is known as "The Talk". There's many guidelines for giving "The Talk", but be sure to tell them before you have sex!
You'll be surprised, many people will choose to keep going out with you after "The Talk". It's a wonderful feeling after this, it shows they really, really care about you. And they are a good person.
6. Practice Loving Prevention. Once you begin dating, and are honest completely, you should take things cautiously. Try not to rush things along so you can have sex as soon as possible.
One thing that you learn with genital herpes dating is to take love and dating more slowly. More preciously. More honestly. More lovingly so you can savor every little moment of love.
With this, you should be doing these steps to prevent outbreaks:
"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle."
More than anything you must have FAITH. Believe that getting genital herpes is just a little obstacle that you will learn to overcome on your path to love.
God wants you to love you through another person. Keep taking little steps EVERYDAY to GROW YOURSELF and MEET NEW PEOPLE. And before you know it, you will be successfully Dating with Genital Herpes and falling in Love.
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
-M. Scott Peck