17 and Scared Shitless.. Could Use Advice

by Brooke T.
(Cali Born)

I was diagnosed with Genital Herpes on Halloween of this year, 2011: The scariest day of my life not the worst day. I know I've still got a lot of life in me and plenty of days to make the worst but it was by far the scariest, as a matter of fact I'm still scared. It was in shock I've heard all the stories, and studied more on Herpes then any subject I can think of. But I'm only 17yrs young I've got soooo much going for me and I'm still scared.


I've talked to my O.B.G.Y.N. and she says she has never met a teen with such ease about the subject but I am totally and completely freaked/terrified. I've done my homework it’s not the virus that scares me it’s the fact that I have it and I could possibly ruin someone’s life by pure ecstasy when making love. So yeah I'm informed but is that the most I can do??

I'm only 17 freaking years old I still have a whole life ahead of me and now I've got an incurable disease. I can't have sex without feeling insecure (not that I've even tried to have sex) even just talking to young men makes me freak out. My O.B.G.Y.N. says my outbreak seems like nothing. I will probably never even have another outbreak after this one (my first one which I hear is the worst mine was nothing I couldn’t even notice) but I'm still worried I could really use some comforting words.

I'm not sure whether it’s HSV1 or HSV2 and neither does my doc she says we can run tests BUT is it worth more bad news?? I've cried and sulked in this far too much already, 17 is just too young I don't need information and I don't need another doctor or psychologist trying to tell me "my life isn't over" "you'll find someone for you, and, now we will know they love you, for you" "you’re a beautiful girl, this is but a simple little obstacle that you can easily work through". I already know this I don't need to hear any more of it I know all these little things already.

I'm just scared I still don't know exactly how to handle this emotionally. I had plans to move to LA in California and start an exotic modelling career I'm a very very good looking girl and now I just feel ugly, dirty, and like no one could ever want me. I'm probably over reacting but I really don't need to hear that either I just need some beautiful words or advice to help me strengthen my mind and my heart I'm almost falling apart over here. Ugh! Help!! Get me through this!!!

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Apr 27, 2014
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Support
by: Anonymous

Hello,

My name is Abby and there are underground Facebook groups for people with herpes. It is a secret group. We have thousands of members. The group is also for people who have HPV.

However, most of the groups are for people over 18 years old. We do have one group for teens that doesn't have any members in it right now because it is very hard for teens to find this group.

If you want to be the first members in this teen group please contact me. I am reaching out to all teenagers who need support and others to talk to, to please email me at abbylane1111@gmail.com.

You can do it from an anonymous email account and you can even join the group from a fake Facebook profile. We don't need to know who you are or what your name is, we just want to help. We have older and experienced members who are ready, willing and prepared to help you. All of us have herpes so we understand what you are going through.

When you turn 18 you can join the adult groups which are for support, social and dating. They are fun. They also have national events, bowling nights, club nights, so many social events. We always tell our members to practice safety because not everyone with Herpes is nice.

Anyway, if you need help, please contact me. It may take up to two weeks for a response (not likely, but possible if I get busy) but I promise you will be responded to.

Sincerely,

Abby


Aug 24, 2013
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I'm 17
by: Anonymous

I just found out I have herpes and I don't wanna tell my parents about it what can I do I need help please.


Mar 19, 2012
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16
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. I'm only 16 and was diagnosed with herpes two weeks ago. I'm still in complete disbelief never thought it could happen to me. I just keep thinking how will anyone ever look at me the same? I can't even hold my head up in the hall ways at school but obviously we aren't alone. Best thing to do is try your best to live a normal life.


Mar 04, 2012
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A decade later
by: Anonymous

I am a 32 year old male, I was 20 when I contracted it from a girl friend of a year. I wanted to convey that your life can be no different in spite of it. Devastating yes when you find out, but I have always been upfront and honest after seeing someone for a while, and really never been turned down for dating due to it with someone that I had a connection with.

Take your time in dating, don't sleep with them first before the talk, and help the other person understand the disease as best you can and let the chips fall where they may. I have had a marriage that was not affected by it at all and have a beautiful healthy daughter. All can be wonderful, just be careful and honest.


Dec 07, 2011
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keep your head high!
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain, I just turned 18 and I found out I had genital herpes earlier this week. I was going to join the military until I found out about this, of course I was crushed but I've now decided to pack my bags and move to New York with my ex boyfriend. Don't let this stop your dreams in life, I live in California and my best friend is a commercial model and she also has genital herpes. Don't let this hold you back, California is a very accepting state. good luck. :)


Dec 01, 2011
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been there.
by: Amanda

Hi,

I'm 19 years old and last year on my birthday I had protected sex with one of the hottest guys to get back at my ex of 3 years. Right after I was having so much pain the next day I went into the ER. I couldn't even urinate and they wanted to keep me for a few days, it was the worst case of herpes the two doctors have ever seen. Since then I haven't had a single outbreak and I actually just had a baby boy two months ago. I cannot say it gets better because I'm struggling with it myself. I know people who've had sex win 20 guys and nothing yet. I can count on one hand the people I've been with. I'm disgusted with myself and pray everyday to get it out of my head.


Nov 30, 2011
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thank you
by: Brooke T

Thank you both I've learned a lot from this and read both your stories. I agree nothing can define you unless you let it. I'm working through this and I hope you both have worked through it too. Thank you very much.


Nov 24, 2011
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live your life
by: pruben

Just wanted to tell you that do not let this thing stop you from being what you are. I am a 29 year old man who was misdiagnosed with as having JSV 2 but that experience only taught me that nothing can define you. Its you who defines yourself. I see you defining yourself as a good looking girl who wants to be a model so let it be that way because that's what you are. You are not all about some little virus, you are a lot more than that. You could read my story on this link and see what being diagnosed taught me http://www.happy-with-herpes.com/is-this-what-you-call-love.html


Nov 26, 2011
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It's no biggy
by: Anonymous

Hey there, I've just been diagnosed with HSV-1, I hope my story can help you, leave a comment if you'd like to talk more about it, I think you'll be fine and if you look at the statistic, 1 in 4 women have herpes, you don't think any actresses or models have herpes? Of course they do! I'm sure many, and you can get through this.

http://www.happy-with-herpes.com/its-not-that-bad.html


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