Will I Ever Get Over The Anger?

by Anonymous

My husband of 12 years has been cheating. On December 21 his mistress sent me an email saying that she's pregnant and due in August. I bounced off the walls with hurt and anger. My annual gynecology exam got pushed back from December 26 to January 22. I talked to my doctor and he took cultures to test for some STDs and sent me off for blood work for others; including HIV. One culture came back positive for a bacterial infection so I began a course of antibiotics. Then came the phone call with the H-Bomb. If I thought I was angry about the bacterial infection, the news that I have Herpes has me seeing RED! I'm so angry that I began smoking again (I had quit in 2005). I feel filthy! I can't shower enough!!! Does the anger ever go away???!!!


Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry you have to go through all these feelings. Finding out about a herpes diagnosis for the first time can indeed be a very difficult experience. Especially when you've acquired it from the person you trust.

You have every right to be angry, to feel resentful, and to feel betrayed. But don’t get discouraged. You are definitely not dirty, even though you feel that. You simply have a virus that was passed on to you by a dishonest person.

Perhaps finding a relaxing hobby like yoga or joining Herpes Support Groups might help in the healing process. It may take a while to get over the feelings of anger and bitterness but allowing these feelings will only aggravate your health.

Right now more than anything, you need to nurture and love yourself. Get as much support as you can, from family, friends, even professional help and counselling if possible.

I was angry too when I first found out about my herpes diagnosis. But I realized that I shouldn't let herpes take control of my life. I'm still the person that I was before.

It might not be easy at the moment, but slowly make peace with the virus. Look at the silver lining in life and try to live each day building a better you. Remember that having herpes doesn’t make you less moral, less attractive, or less worthy in any way than before you became infected.

God bless!



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