When You Don't Have An Outbreak, Can You Have Sex Without A Condom?

by Anonymous

I was just wondering if you can have a good sex life. I was looking forward to after having children to be able to either get my tubes tied and have sex with my husband without a condom. But can you have sex without a condom, even when you don't have an outbreak?

Dear Anonymous,

You can definitely have a good sex life with herpes! Genital herpes does not need to be an obstacle. This is a big thing to understand as initially, we may feel like our dating life is over.

The reality is much different! Millions of people still go on dating, having sex, and even get married (and have children) with non positive, or other positive partners.

But here’s the thing about genital herpes sex, we have to get honest with ourselves and our partners. That is the only way to build trust in the relationship so that sex is more fulfilling emotionally as well.

There is also the reality of “viral shedding”. That means the herpes virus is actively multiplying at the surface of the initial site of infection without the visible signs of an outbreak. This phenomenon can happen a few times a year and is unpredictable.

Condoms are a great way to reduce unknowingly passing on the herpes virus through viral shedding. It is always recommended to practice safe sex, to protect your health and the health of others as well. Combine that with taking antiviral medication religiously, then the herpes virus can be effectively suppressed.

In the end, it is up to the level of risk that both of you are willing to take. So do talk to your partner about it. Listen to your body, what it is feeling... any tingling sensation can signal an oncoming outbreak. Some people are comfortable not using any protection at all, just taking extra care to listen for future outbreaks.

So communication is really important.You need to make sure it's a mutual decision and BOTH parties are well-educated on herpes, before you decide to skip on using rubbers. Even practice slow loving. When you have this kind of relationship with your partner, the sex will be more careful. It will be slower, with a deeper passion.

Hope this helps,



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