The Positive Side of Things

I am a 20 year old female who just found out I have herpes less than 48 hours ago. I had been in 2 long term relationships, and got tested just because I wanted to reassure myself I had nothing. I literally had no idea that I had genital herpes. I have to admit that when I first found out, I cried for what seemed like forever. I felt gross, dirty, and it truly felt like a death sentence. I kept asking why it happened to me-I had used protection 95% of the time, was responsible about birth control, and had only had 2 partners compared to my friends who had dozens. But I've decided that this is possibly a great blessing.

Now we HAVE to find partners that are understanding, trustworthy and great people. We can no longer fall for the "bad boy" or judgmental and superficial partners. We are REQUIRED to find people that can accept us for who we are. I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all, considering my last 2 partners were really superficial and did not treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

I plan on keeping my positive status a secret. I did tell my mom and sister, but other than that there is no reason anyone needs to know about it unless I plan on being intimate with them. It should be a privilege and an honor to know something that personal about someone, not something you shout out to the world unless you are comfortable doing so. I feel like what I have is a simple skin infection that is mine to know about, it is like knowing your weight, you don't have to publicize it unless you want to.

I feel like in 48 hours I have changed my view on it a lot. I will be taking medication to minimize its effects, and the issue will come up when I decide to tell someone I am interested in, and again when I get married and try to have children. But otherwise, my present remains the same as before-the only difference being I now know my status.

I am in a unique situation because I didn't know I had genital herpes for a year because it has been over a year since my last sexual experience. In that year I got the highest grades in college I've ever gotten, got an amazing internship, made new friends and more. I can either let knowing my status hold me back from everything, or I can accept this part of me and keep going with my life. I choose the second one :)

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