Still Depressed

I have had herpes for 5 years now. I remember my first outbreak, like it was yesterday. I was having lots of yeast infections I checked myself one day because the pain was so bad and boom! Felt a sore. I still thought, man these infections get bad.

I immediately went to urgent care. When he was done checking I sat up and he said. You have herpes and there's no cure. Do you need a minute? He left the room and I balled like a baby. It was my daughters 4th birthday. I couldn't even go pick her up from her dads I was so ashamed.

I was with a guy for a short time, always used protection but one day after sex he told me he took the condom off during. I was livid of course. Prior to him I was with a guy for 3 years. So I'm not quite sure who I got it from, but have an idea.

I told my daughter’s father and he and I decided to get back together had another baby and got married. We are now going through a divorce. I've moved on and this guy I'm seeing is okay with it. But how can he be if I'm not even okay with it!!!

I've only had about 2 outbreaks since I found out 5years ago, but I still am mad. I don't understand.

Even more recently, the guy I was with came back into the picture a couple months ago and we've had sex twice. I can't tell him. I don't know how. He's the love of my life and he’ll hate me. But I love him too much to do this to him.

To add I also found out I have gum disease and my mouth has been feeling funny every since. I have tingling and sometime I feel minor bumps on my lips and the roof of my mouth but it resides at night.

I'm not sure if I now have oral herpes. I don't have cold sores, but I don't know for sure and now I'm terrified to go back to the doctor and get more bad news!

I'm starting to get depressed because I don't want to pass this bs to ANYONE!

Btw my husband or current partner doesn't have it

Just looking for help I guess.

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