Seventeen Years Old in Desperate Need of Advice from FEMALES Please

by Anonymous

I really don't know how to handle my diagnosis of HSV-1 (genital) when it comes to having sex. I am being sexually active with this guy but I haven't told him and I don't want to tell him, but is that wrong? I'm scared of being rejected. I do use condoms every time and I take antivirals everyday and avoid oral sex. I just need advice from some women who understand.

Thank you!


Dear Anonymous,

I might not be female, but allow me to share my two cents about your situation.

First of all, I understand where you’re coming from. Getting diagnosed with herpes is really devastating and can eat away the chance of living a fulfilling life if we let it. So don’t let it. Don’t let herpes ruin your relationships and control your life. As you may have figured out, the longer you wait to tell, the harder it seems.

Honesty is really important in a relationship. If you truly do love this person, you would let him know from the start. Don’t rob his choice of making an informed decision. I’m sure you wouldn’t want the same to happen to you, too. Have the courage to tell him straight. I recommend picking a good time and place, somewhere that’s comfortable where you will not be interrupted.

You’ll be surprised to know that a lot more people are open and understanding about the herpes virus, despite the social stigma attached to it. If anything, being open about your condition to your partner will show that you’re being responsible and unselfish which are attractive qualities in a person. You will know if a person truly cares for you if they are willing to stay with you despite knowing of your condition.

For more tips and information, I've written a page on How to Have “The Talk”.

Hope this helps!



Click here to post comments

Return to Herpes Advice Forum.