Please Shed Some Light

by Kathryn
(VA)

My boyfriend has HSV-1, in his genital region. He has only ever had one outbreak, and that was about a year ago when he contracted the disease from his last girlfriend. There has been absolutely no sign of any outbreaks since. We have been practicing caution during intimacy and using protection for the duration of our relationship (he was honest with me from the very beginning). He also takes Valtrex daily to reduce the risk of transmission.


About 9 or 10 months into our relationship, we both were tested for both types of the virus and all the tests came out negative for both of us. I am assuming his test was a false negative though, because I hear this is quite common.

So after having said all that, I guess I have questions that cannot really be answered, but they have bothered me nonetheless. I see a future with this man, and one day I want to have his children. I also want to be able to give him what he craves in the bedroom. If we have oral sex (unprotected, without a condom or anything else), am I guaranteed to contract the virus?

I am terrified to do this because I don't know what I would do if I ended up with an outbreak on my lips/face. And even if this does not happen now, but in the future we decide to have children together, am I guaranteed to contract the virus anyway? If this is ultimately who I will be with, do I have no choice but to accept that I myself will have it one day?

I understand no one can actually answer this question, as I have already been told by several doctors. I guess I just need some sort of reassurance or prediction backed up by someone else's experience - which doctors just can't give you. I would be beyond grateful if someone could shed some light on this for me.

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May 23, 2013
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by: Anonymous

I'm 21, and recently diagnosed with HSV 1. Hopefully mine is just orally (going to the doctor to get a check up down there as well.) A guy I was talking to lied to me, and I gave him oral. A few days later my lip was tingly and swollen. It went away so I thought nothing of it. Now a month later, I got a bump on my lip and it turns out it was my worst nightmare. My current boyfriend (who I also see a future with) has been very accepting of the whole thing and he thinks no less of me.

So, now to your question. When it comes to oral, obviously do not give that to him when he is having an outbreak. It can also be passed when the virus is "shedding." If he is on a drug for it, the risk factor of you getting it is much slimmer, but it is still there. Just be smart. If you guys have children one day, it doesn't mean you will get it. It just means you have to be safe when you decide to have unprotected sex, and the longer the virus is in your body, the less outbreaks you have.

I have done a lot of research, and I am still trying to cope with all of this. Scientists' are on their way to discovering a "cure" for herpes. It will just cause the outbreaks to stop, and will keep the virus from being spread. I really hope that they hurry up and figure this out, but in the meantime, I am in the same boat as your boyfriend. It's scary. It's gross, BUT in reality, all herpes is, is just a rash caused by a virus. It is a skin condition. So, as long as you and him are smart as to when oral sex is performed....you should be fine.

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