One Year Later

by Britt

Back in March of 2012 at the age of 21, the "love of my life" left to go to Texas and we had plans of me moving down to Texas too. A couple of months later, I woke up in so much pain that my mom rushed me to Urgent Care. I thought maybe my period was about to come or something. The nurse came in and began the physical and said "Uh oh, that looks like Herpes. We need to test you."

I will never forget the look on my mom's face and I lost it. I could not stop crying because I all of the sudden felt disgusting and that my life was over. My mom just held me as I cried. I did not stop crying for nearly 20 minutes. The nurse did the test and stated that it could also be Shingles (Adult Chicken Pox) but that we would have to wait for the results. It was Friday and she said the results should be back by Tuesday of the following week.

I went home around 10am Friday and did not get out of bed until afternoon(ish) Sunday. I called the "love of my life" and told him what was going on. He came back with "Oh, you are a cheater, you're nasty, I don't have G.H. but I still love you"... Imagine my surprise by that response.

After that I hung up on him and just wanted to cry in bed for the rest of my life. However, my best friend offered to buy me dinner and take me to the movies. Throughout the entire day I just kept bargaining with God. I begged for it to be Shingles. Later that day I broke down and told my friend. They listened and were upset because they knew the person that may have given it to me.

Two days later I was at work and I missed a phone call from the doctor’s office. I took a break and call the doctor’s office back and the nurse said, "The results came back... You tested positive for Herpes. I am very sorry. But you are young and have a full life ahead of you. If you need anything, call me." I hung up, began crying, called the "love of my life," went off on him because I knew he had it.

He admitted that not only did he know he had it, but he got if from one
of MY co-workers, and that his WIFE said we were over. So, in a 20 minute conversation, I learned that he was married, cheated on me with a co-worker, and gave me G.H... Needless to say, I have not talked to him since then.

Just when I thought my life was over, something unexpected happened. My other friend introduced me to a guy we had gone to high school with. You know how in the movies when two characters meet and they have that moment where everything freezes and they are the only ones and then at that very moment they know they are soul mates?

Well I am very pleased to announce that he and I have not only been together for over a year, but we are talking about getting married. He is my true best friend. We had to have "the" talk. I thought he was going to have a horrible reaction, but instead had a surprising reaction. He said, "I still love you and I am not going anywhere".

To this day, when asked how he puts up with me and the Herpes, he says, "Baby, I see the same sweet/amazing girl I first feel in love with, not the Herpes." In the last year I have had three outbreaks, besides the first one that caused me to get tested. He has been there for each one and has helped me through it. He is my support when I need it the most.

Three things to remember:

1. You are not disgusting by any means. Having herpes does not make you disgusting. It just means that for one moment you believed someone and they let you down.

2. It is not the end of the world. It is more common than some people think. I myself thought I was alone until I found this website.

3. Support and no stress will help. My family and friends have helped me through a lot of the emotional stuff. DO NOT let Herpes control you. Yes, you still need to protect yourself, but herpes should not put your life on hold.

I have learned that stress can cause an outbreak. If you are stressed, take a moment and breathe. :)

I know this is long, but I hope it helps at least one person. I am 22 years old and I am just now learning how to live with Herpes. I am living a full life, and you should too. <3

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