Mother of Two; Just Diagnosed, and Not Happy :(

I'm 25, single mother of two, 3 midterms and a paper due this week and all I can think about is this horrible news that I was told about 9 hours ago.

I just found out today and feel devastated and hopeless. I feel like giving up on everything I've been working so hard for and just being self-destructive so no one will come near me.

Clearly, I am having a hard time accepting this. I noticed one small, painless bump and had it checked out. I was expecting the worst (HSV 2), but really REALLY hoping for the best. I don't understand why this would happen now when I am in the best health I have ever been in. I exercise 5 days a week and eat very healthy, so why this breakout now? I have so many questions. Who (did I get it from/ pass it to)? When? Who do I tell? How? I can't imagine the words leaving my mouth, not even to my closest friends or relatives.

I definitely was a victim of the negative stigma that this virus carries and I feel like why would this happen to me? I am healthy, loving, and honest. I go to a prestigious university, I barely go out and I barely have sex. When I do, it is usually protected, but the few times that I have are now kicking my ass. I never thought I would get herpes. I thought I was smarter than that. I hope I'm not offending anyone. I know that what I am saying is a result of the stigma associated with the virus and that beautiful, intelligent, amazing people can get it and that it is not something that affects a certain "type" of person.

I don't know what to do. I mean the obvious, take the meds the doc gave me next time I have an outbreak. But in general, it’s already hard enough for me to find a boyfriend. Now this. I don't feel like I can tell anyone, so I feel like I'd rather just abstain from sex and relationships all together.

This is probably best for me anyways since I have so much going on. But how do I tell the man that I am really interested in that I just can't talk to him anymore. I mean, best case scenario, he has it too. But I doubt that and like I said, I am too scared to say anything to anyone (except for anonymously on this website).

I know I have to stay strong for my daughters, but this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and I have been through A LOT.

Comments for Mother of Two; Just Diagnosed, and Not Happy :(

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 22, 2012
Rating

Please be happy!!!
by: Anonymous

I am a male in my late 30's who has been dealing with annoying cold sores since the age of 7. So it was contained around my mouth for a very long time and was very embarrassing going to school with a quarter sized growth on my face every couple months. For the past two decades they have been very small and infrequent. But guess what, now it has reared its ugly head at the base of my penis. I was mad but not shocked, almost been expecting it. Not sure how it made it down there but regardless, I want you to just chill out and relax. It's going to be just fine. To me its just another cold sore I have to tend to every now and then just in an unusual location. FYI - I have learned that too much sun, too much alcohol, bad diet and stress make these things pop up more, so just take it easy :)

May 17, 2012
Rating

Your not your health issue.
by: Anonymous

I came upon this website because the girl I care so greatly for has herpes. For a reason I'll not mention we can't be together but I care more for her than words allow. I don't have it. We have had sex. I want you all to know that not all people are that shallow. But I thought today she had given it to me (it was a heat rash)!

When we talked about it I felt like an ass. Not because I cared if she had given it to me. But that she was up front about it before we had sex and gave me the choice. I respect her more than you know. And for me to have to ask her if what that was could be it and have it checked out was possibly going to make me look like I was just another shallow guy! She had been brave,strong and respectful enough and now I was having to add to the already hard task of living with it.

Thankfully she was the most kind and helpful person I could have gone too! I am a very lucky guy to say at the very least she is one of my dearest friends! What I'm getting at it is: you may have herpes, you may not. But we are all people. And a silly little cold sore should not stop anyone from loving another person. For us, I wish Herpes was the only hurdle that we had to cross. Take care of one another OK!!

May 16, 2012
Rating

i'm not happy either
by: Anonymous

Her story is so true just like me I can't tell anyone either. I been having blood tests done all my life. I was just recently diagnosed, its hard to find a man but I will be by myself.

Apr 27, 2012
Rating

Sorry to hear the news
by: Leo S

Herpes is really good and bad. The good news is that there's plenty of guys out there that have it, but at the same time, it's bad cause it's a little harder to find them. 1/5 men, so really it's not the end of the world. Keep up your studies and join a site that has more people with Herpes. Then chat it up! :)

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Herpes Advice Forum.