It Could Happen To Anyone

by C

I am 21 years old and recently diagnosed with HSV 1. I was and still am scared, angry, confused, devastated, and every other word you can use to describe the emotions we all went through and are going through. About two months ago I met a guy. He wasn't the usual type that I went for, and that's what was so attractive about him. He worked out, was half Latin, and was just the complete opposite of what I was used to.

So, I decided I'd give it a try and start talking to him. Well, after talking for a month I gave him oral. As soon as I was finished he brought me home because "his boy was having girlfriend problems and needed him." I wish that being kicked out after giving a guy head was the only thing I had to worry about.

Three days later my lip became swollen and tingly. It went away so I thought nothing of it. Well, a few days ago I got a bump on my lip and took myself to the doctor. I prayed the whole way there hoping it wasn't what I thought, but at the same time I was preparing myself for the worst.

It was what I was hoping it wasn't, and I now had to figure out how to tell my current boyfriend. I was terrified to tell him. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. To my surprise he is extremely understanding and supportive. He understands I didn't do anything wrong. He understands I was lied to. He says his feelings and opinion of me have not changed at all. We haven't even been dating a month, so I'm in complete shock that he's this understanding already.

I'm angry at myself for breaking a promise to myself, well more so not including oral in my no sex with guys I'm not dating promise. We forget that oral sex is sex, and we forget about the health risks and that you can get STDs from oral sex. I never would have thought that I'd be the girl to get herpes. It's scary, and I'm having a hard time forgiving myself. But the fact I have a very supportive and caring mother, and a boyfriend who still thinks I am amazing is really helping me a lot.

Herpes is just a skin condition caused by a virus. So, that's how I'm going to look at it; and, if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. I know things happen for a reason, and I don't know what this reason is, but I will figure out eventually.

In the meantime, I'm going to move forward and stop being depressed. I have an amazing mother, an amazing boyfriend, and I'm going places in life. A little cold sore isn't going to stop me from being who I want to be!

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