In Need of Some Soothing Words

by T

I am 22 years old. I caught my ex boyfriend cheating on me and broke up with him. Shortly after, I met a really amazing guy. I never thought I would find someone so perfect. I fell hard and fast for this guy. I got a call from a friend a couple weeks into the new relationship. She told me that one of the girls my ex had cheated on me with had Herpes. My heart sank.

I made an appointment with my doctor and had blood drawn the next day. That night, I went to my new boyfriend’s house and told him everything. He kept calm and reacted better than I had even hoped for. He said if it came back positive, we would just be more careful.

A week later, I got the results. Positive! As you can imagine, I broke down in tears. How could someone do this to me? I felt so alone and depressed. I was literally in a roller coaster of emotions. Bad things always happen to good people. I immediately told my new boyfriend and after thinking about it all day, he decided that he would always be afraid of getting it so we broke up.

I am absolutely heartbroken. I do respect his decision and he has the right to leave. At least I was being honest about my condition. The worst part of all of it is losing a great guy because of something I had no control over. My biggest fear is that no guy will ever want to love a girl with herpes.

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Jul 20, 2013
Herpes cannot take me away from him
by: Anonymous

I met my boyfriend online and shortly afterward we ended up absolutely in love with each other. He is from the US and I am from one of the most beautiful countries here in ASIA. We decided to meet in person after 2 months but before he bought his plane ticket he told me that he got this herpes type 2 that he got from his ex-wife. I was so scared, I felt I was gonna faint at that very moment, I don't know anything about herpes. I really don't know what to say at that moment, I was extremely shocked. I even tried to ask him if we can do something about it ( to cure it) but he said its impossible.

He asked me if I still want to meet him in person, if I still want to be with him. There's a lot of question in my mind, why? Why me? Everything between us seems to be perfect but why is this happening? Why is he telling me about it only now? Why not before I fell in love with him? My love for him is for real so I asked him to proceed with our plan. He flown for over 16 hours just to meet me in person. We are extremely happy to met each other.

I allowed him to make love to me without fear or hesitation because I love him. After few days of being together he broke out that almost ruined our time together but I assured him that "it's okay". I am not afraid of it and I even started the move to make love with him. Now, we are extremely happy and planning for our wedding and our future baby. Thanks God I didn't acquire it yet but I know eventually I'm gonna acquire it from him.

My only prayer is that I don't acquire it during my pregnancy because I don't want our child to have it. There are times today that I'm being bothered about it but I love my boyfriend and herpes cannot take me away from him. So cheer up! someone there is meant for you...your one great love to spend the rest of your life.

Jun 19, 2013
This WASN"T a great guy you were with!
by: Anonymous

I read both your stories and being older- I know at 21 you believe it's your whole life. But I will tell you something. Eventually this will be something you almost forget about. I used to obsess daily but after time, there are bigger issues in life to deal with. A skin rash isn't one of them.

But about this "greatest guy". Herpes has shown me people's true character. I've had "the talk" and (maybe it's being older and around more)- there's alot of dishonest people in the world. To a member of the opposite sex, being totally honest and transparent usually will be seen as a good thing. If they want to overlook that and all your other great points because you have an occasional skin rash/ outbreak then they are showing you they are truly not worth your time.

IF the person elects not to see you after telling them- let them go and know they lost out. Not you. You actually may have saved yourself ALOT of heartache down the road. If they are not willing to love and support you because of something that can be controlled (yes- using condoms, medication and a bit of honesty)- then they are not worth your time. I had a girl who was scared because of it- elected to punch out and go after the talk. A few months later- guess she got tested (or caught it from someone else as we didn't have sex) and Positive. She recontacted me "Well, now that I have it, we can both be safe". It was the greatest feeling to tell her "No thanks- I wasn't worth your time before- now we have the same issue I'm worth your time?.. bye".

You'll meet a REALLY GREAT GUY who will look forward to being with you- herpes or not. I promise you that. Just hang in there. He's coming. Just be open enough to let him in. :)

May 22, 2013
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

After a bad break up, I had been single for 2 years. After having a few rebounds and casual sex, I decided not to have sex for a year, and I didn't. Back in January I gave in and had sex with a friend of mine. Well, I decided I wasn't going to have sex with anyone but I forgot to leave out oral sex as part of my promise to myself. I started talking to a guy who I thought was amazing. We talked about everything, being tested and etc. both of us were least that's what he said.

After a month of talking, I gave him oral. I wish I wouldn't have. Because he gave me HSV 1. I didn't find out until a few days ago. I know it was him because 3 days later my lip was tingly and swollen. I didn't think anything of it because it went away. Well a few days ago I got bumps on my lip and took myself straight to the doctor. I found out that's what it was and I was devastated because I didn't know how I was going to tell my boyfriend (we have not even been dating a month yet) and I'm only 21 years old.

I couldn't believe this happened to me, but it did. I got the courage to tell my boyfriend and explain it to him. His exact words were "So what, you'll get cold sores sometimes. It could be worse." It hasn't changed his opinion of me. He still tells me I'm perfect and the most amazing girl he's ever met. He told me what I have can happen to anyone. Which is true. You did nothing wrong, and neither did I. I didn't lie to the guy, and you didn't cheat on your bf. The point is, when a man cares about you, the fact you have this won't matter. He will care about you regardless. I'm hoping things between my bf and I stay this way, and I hope he continues not to care about it, I will keep you updated. In the mean time know there is hope. I've done a lot of research and herpes is just a virus that causes a skin rash. It could be way worse. Herpes is just something you get, it isn't who you are. A lot of people have it and don't realize it. So, cheer up. Things will get better. You're not alone :)

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