I'm looking for advice on starting a relationship with a woman with herpes.

by RGR

I am 46 years old and I've met a WONDERFUL woman and we have been dating for 2 months. We are hitting it off swimmingly. The chemistry is great and we seem to be very compatible. We have not had sex yet and she just told me that she has herpes. I am now trying to decide if I should try to make things work or if I should end things. Please let me know if anyone has had a similar experience. HELP!!!


Dear RGR,

Thank you for sending in your question to our forum.

Giving “The Talk” can be extremely nerve-racking as the thought of rejection scares and discourages most of us. It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone about having herpes. By opening up to you, she’s being responsible and showing you that she cares enough for you to know and be aware. She’s being honest and brave telling you up front despite the possibility of an unfavorable outcome.

If you’ve both known each other for awhile and have feelings for each other, there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t try to make things work.

But first, you need some time to process this new revelation. It’s important that you do some research before getting into a relationship especially when being intimate is in the horizon. Read all you can about herpes and from there, make an informed decision. Start with our page on What Causes Herpes, then on to Dating Someone with Herpes, and finally make your way up to Genital Herpes Sex.

There are plenty of ways to protect yourself and still enjoy pleasurable sex. You’ll find out that herpes is just a minor skin condition that can sometimes cause a few inconveniences from time to time.

If you love this person, the decision should be easier. If this is someone you want to date on a long term then consider the situation and give this wonderful woman a chance. Take things slow and loving, and always be careful. Trust me, your love will be more powerful and more meaningful.

Perhaps other readers of our forum can also share their experiences.

God bless!



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Aug 12, 2013
Don't let her go because of that
by: Anonymous

I'm 21 years old, and I found out I had herpes a few days after my birthday. I was devastated because I had just started dating an amazing man, who is still my boyfriend, and I was afraid he was going to leave me. I told him as soon as I found out, and to my surprise his feelings didn't change. We're in love and I couldn't be happier. Don't let a simple skin condition get in the way if how you feel. He was nothing but supportive, and because of him I didn't stay depressed over it. Practice safe sex, and continue to see her as the beautiful woman she is. Before I got it, I let the stigma attached to it rule my opinion of it. It wasn't until I got it and did my research that I realized what it really was. Hope this helps.

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