I Really Need Advice about My New Boyfriend vs Old "Positive" Boyfriend

by Kitty

I'm currently dating this wonderful man. In the middle of this relationship I'm in my ex sends me a text message. He was my first and he said while I was with him he cheated on me. Which I already knew that's why we weren't together anymore. But he is with the girl he cheated on me with and got tested and tested positive for herpes. I'm freaking out right now because me and my current boyfriend had sex about a week and a half ago and the condom broke, I'm going to the Doctor right now. How the fuck do I tell my boyfriend now? What do I tell him?


Dear Kitty:

Well first of all, sorry for the late response. You deserve a faster response than I am doing here for you on this website.

Better late than never.

The best thing for you to do now is to go get a blood test (they are like 99% accurate) to determine if you picked up Herpes from your last partner. You might have, you might not have. Who knows?

And here's the crazy thing...how do you know your current partner does not have Herpes? Many people don't know or won't say. I'm sure he is a great guy but people are funny on these sexual matters.

That's why I'm a big proponent of getting yourself and your partner tested when you start a sexual relationship.

Blood testing is easy, confidential, and cheap!

Here's a link to a testing service I recommend:


You can also call them (they have counselors who can answer some of your questions).

GetStdTested Phone Number: 866-431-8717

Maybe some of the community here can give you some more advice also.

Hope that helps.



Comments for I Really Need Advice about My New Boyfriend vs Old "Positive" Boyfriend

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

May 23, 2013
You are good enough
by: Anonymous

I'm 21 years old, and I have recently been diagnosed with HSV 1. I gave a guy I had been talking to oral. We had been talking for a month, and he said he was clean and had been tested. He either lied or he doesn't know. Well, I found out only a few days ago, even though all that happened 2 months ago. Three days after it happened my lip was tingly and became swollen, but it went away so I thought nothing of it. It wasn't until recently when I noticed a bump on my lip that I thought something was wrong. I was right. I took myself to the doctor and had to hear the terrible news.

I was terrified and didn't know how I was going to tell my bf. We haven't even been dating a month, but to my surprise he has been extremely supportive. He said it doesn't and won't change his opinion of me. Herpes is something you get, not who you are. It is just a skin rash caused by a virus, I did nothing wrong and neither did you. I still feel angry with myself and I feel disgusting, but my boyfriend doesn't look at me differently or think any differently of me. So, I'm not going to, and neither should you. Just be honest with people, and eventually there will be a man who understands it wasn't your fault.

Aug 18, 2012
THank you
by: kitty

Thank you Gary. Unfortunately I had tested positive and now have HSV 2. I informed my current boyfriend and he left me. It crushed me. It made me feel as if I am no good to no one.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Herpes Advice Forum.