I feel so horrible about myself. I had unprotected sex with a guy I really liked.
I don't know why I did it. I hadn't had sex in so long I just went overboard. That's no excuse and now I am in agony waiting to see if I have infected him. I don't know how I will live with myself if he gets infected. He is such a good person.
I am asymptomatic most of the time. I can't remember the last time I had an outbreak. I am hoping beyond hope that I wasn't contagious. I keep going over in my head what we did. I tried to keep him from where my infection occurs but he slipped a few times.
I thought I could do this. I thought I could re-enter the dating scene and date people who didn't have herpes and we would cope but this guilt is so overwhelming and I don't know that I even infected him. What would it be like if I really did infect someone...
I try to rationalize it and say it's still a cold sore down there hsv 2. But when it comes down to transmission the stigma is still there. This guy called it off with me after two dates because he felt like I betrayed him (I did tell him before we made out).
How do I cope with the guilt?
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