Going to be OK

by Kim

Alright, well I had my first outbreak 8 days ago, after being with my partner of 5 years. From what I have read either one of us could have had this or it was dormant, I can recall him having a cold-sore once 3 years ago, unfortunately I didn't think about it again until it was too late. I visited a doctor by the second day of discomfort, thinking it was just from rough intercourse, but surprised by how painful it was to use the restroom. She told me what she thought it was herpes and prescribed anti-virals until we got the test results, which would not be until after the weekend.

In the first 5 days I had never felt so confused, alone, angry and of course in an unbearable amount of pain. My partner was away on a trip and I have no trusted friends in the town I live in, I felt like i was going to pull my hair out and was crying non-stop. Feeling this isolated was too much and I finally called my best friend, who did not judge me, got angry with me, and most importantly was just there for me. Although my partner has been preoccupied with his business trip of sorts, he said that it wouldn't change things and I think we will be ok.

Now when I first found this site I wanted to find 2 things:
1 - How to deal with a first breakout and
2 - How to move on and live with this

So for whoever is reading this and is having their first breakout, this is what worked for me. My doctor prescribed me to take my medication 3 times a day; I did this at the same times every day (8a.m., 2p.m., 8 p.m.). Along with that I would take 2 ibuprofen in the morning and 2 at night. Unfortunately my breakout concentrated itself more on my kuester
than my lady parts so I also drank a laxative in my hot tea every morning, or 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night. I kept track of what and how much I ate since I was in starvation mode (it was really too painful to use the restroom so my appetite went out the window).

To help my body to stay fuelled, I drank 1-3 cups of Bolthouse or Naked Juices, water, Hot tea, Vitamin Water, Chicken broth and yogurt. I slowly worked my way up to tomato and butternut squash soup, cheese, and small pieces of chicken. I also got 8+hours of sleep a night, which was easy since I was feeling rather depressed and just watched crap TV. until I fell asleep. Also, in the shower, I would use a fresh washcloth everyday when washing that area, and washed it gently. Afterwards I used a blow-dryer on a cold low setting to air dry the area.

The second part I do not have figured out yet. I know that talking to my best friend was probably some of the best medicine, letting myself cry it out, making myself accept invitations to hang out with somebody or sit with a group of people chatting about whatever. These helped me feel a little normal again, even if just for a couple minutes at a time. Also curling up in bed with a stack of movies, which I will only allow myself to do until this gets better, is ok. It's a shitty situation and I considered it’s just me letting my body heal.

I'm still dealing with this breakout but it is slowly getting better and I hope that anything I've written on here is helpful to somebody because I read almost every story on here and they were the voices I needed to hear when I had nobody around me. I don't know what the future holds but it's going to be OK...

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