Found Love with Herpes

I had been hooking up with a guy named Alex from High School consistently for about a year and a half. During that year and a half we would also hook up with other people. Over winter break of my sophomore year in college, a few days after I had sex with Alex, I was in extreme discomfort. I was extremely itchy and noticed bumps all around my genital area.

I called the doctor immediately and scheduled an emergency appointment. The doctor took one look and said, "I am 99% sure that this is herpes." I wanted to die. I balled my eyes out the rest of the day. I got a call from the doctor confirming that at age 19 I had HSV type 1. I was depressed for weeks about it. I didn't want to leave my house. I thought that I would never find a man who would want to be with me knowing that I had herpes.

I decided to meet with Alex face to face and talk about it. He was shocked. He never apologized to me. All he said was that he had no idea that he had it which to this day I'm not even sure is true. He didn't bother talking to me again. I felt so betrayed by Alex.

I got pretty frequent outbreaks. About every few months I would get one. After about a year, I met a guy named Taylor who I liked. I dated him for a few months and I didn't have the courage to tell that I had herpes. I felt so stressed out and guilty about it that I decided to break it off.

Two years later, I met a different guy named Christian. I felt differently about this guy than I did any other. He could make me laugh in any situation and I always had a great time with him. I could picture myself being with this guy for the rest of my life. It took me a few months but I finally decided to tell him that I had herpes. I was so nervous to tell him. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Part of me thought that he was going to leave me and another part of me was hopeful he could accept this part of me. I wrote him a letter revealing the truth. He was upset at first and didn't know what to do.

After a few days, he decided it was worth it to stay with me because he really loved me for who I am. We use protection every time. I have been with this man for a year and three months. He still hasn't contracted the virus. I get outbreaks from time to time but we just avoid sex during that time. To this day, I am still very happy with him. I couldn't be happier. I never thought it was possible but I am very happy with myself and in my relationship.

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