by Anonymous

So I have just been diagnosed with herpes type 2 and feel devastated!!! But more so confused I have an appointment soon where I can get most of my answers but there's one thing playing on my mind.... I think I caught it from a one night stand on holiday but from doing research I could have already had it before and a mix of a lot of alcohol and sunshine could have caused my first outbreak. The dilemma I face is that do I let my ex know the situation and ask him to get checked? Just to be sure or just leave it as once I tell him he will hate me and probably be disgusted... Not sure if I can face that??


Dear Anonymous,

It is quite easy to be depressed and resentful at yourself or at the person who gave it to you. But instead of wondering who, where or how you got it from, focus more on healing yourself inside and out. Somewhere at the back of our minds we want to blame ourselves or the person who gave it to us, but honestly, that’s a waste of energy. Being angry and devastated will not change the past, but you can change how you deal with life moving forward.

I understand telling your ex would be a difficult situation. But you have to do it. How would you feel if he passed on the herpes virus unknowingly to someone else? You owe him at least the sincerity of being honest and letting him know that he might have herpes but not realize it. Be calm and supportive. You will feel better once you let him know.

For more tips and suggestions on how to go about telling your ex and your future partners, I recommend reading my guide to How to Give “The Talk”. Until then, research all you can about the herpes virus, that way you can be informed about what precautions and lifestyle changes to make health-wise.



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