GHSV +1 has a very low rate of asymptomatic viral shedding (compared to HSV2 or oral HSV1) so although the risk is not ZERO, it is pretty damn close to zero if you avoid oral sex during symptoms.

Also for any ladies reading this, there seems to be a low representation of us on the H community. I am trying to start an online group so we can share experience. Please email me at navyblueballoons@yahoo.com

Once I have a few of us I will get the group together.

Thanks for your story, I thought you were brave to share it. :) And I'm sorry to hear that you've had this experience, it sounds like it was tough, and a real shock. :(

I'm another lesbian, and I actually don't have herpes (either kind), but my last relationship was with a partner who had both (and who had caught it off her previous girlfriend).

It was actually a little hard for me to decide to be with her sexually - I did because I loved her, but to be honest I'm very health-conscious in general and really don't want to catch any STDs or STIs.

We didn't have sex during any visible outbreaks (and we had a wonderful, fulfilling and varied sex life), and luckly I still tested herpes-free after the relationship ended.

I'd just like to comment that I love websites like this and people's personal stories... because I feel that people in general are under-informed when it comes to risk of sexually transmitted stuff.

That's certainly very true for the queer (non-straight) community here in Australia. Most gay and bi women don't seem to practice safe sex, and harbour a belief that lesbian sex is safe.

It may be lower risk for some STDs and STIs, but we're still definitely at risk, and we can still cut that down by safe sex.

Open communication (like this website!), and people talking about the issues and supporting each other, rather than hiding in shame... that's the way to go! <3

herpes is contagious even without breakouts. sores may heal but the virus is in inactive form in nerves and can still be transmitted in any way of contact.

Thank you for sharing your story. I, too, am a lesbian and I just started dating someone and I was told very open and honestly (which I appreciate) that she has genital herpes. I have never been with a partner with this condition so naturally I am leery. However, I am deeply into her and see long term potential so I want to learn about the condition and how to avoid contracting it because I do plan on staying with her. Perhaps you (or someone else reading this) can help with some basic questions:

Is it absolutely safe to have oral sex with her when there is no breakout?

Are all forms of contact safe when there is no breakout?

During the early stages of a breakout (and perhaps when she is not aware a breakout is coming), is there a risk involved in contracting it?

Thank you. I would appreciate any feedback.