Someone please help

by Jamie
(Scotland)

I know this is meant to be success stories but this is my last chance. My girlfriend was diagnosed with herpes 3 months ago. We have not had sex since she has came out of hospital and it's driving us apart. She won't let me near her see her get ready or anything, when we have talked about it all she says is I feel dirty and a can't see there like that, she crys about it alot. Can someone please give me advice and help me save my relationship




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Someone please help

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Aug 24, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hang in there... for her.
by: Anonymous

I found out that I had HSV-2 this summer, after reuniting with a man I love very much. We had been apart for a year and a half and had other partners during this time. When I started having symptoms of herpes I was scared that he would not want to be with me. He turned out to the so incredibly supportive. He went with me to the doctor, asked her questions, hugged me when I cried and did everything he could to cheer me up. I felt dirty and I felt like all my sexiness was GONE.. I can only imagine that is how your girlfriend is feeling right now. The best thing you can do is be supportive and make sure she knows that she is still sexy and beautiful, and that herpes is not a big deal to you, that you love her and that she is not defined by the virus.
Jul 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		it takes time
by: Anonymous

I know how she is feeling. i was diagnosed almost a year ago and i would say the first six months were the toughest. Luckily i have a very supportive bf who loves me unconditionally.He was my rock through it. Im sure she appreciates your support! I cant think of what would have helped me at my worst point. I think what helped me the most is watching Oprah (sounds corny), but really i think i realized that there are sooo many worse things that can happen in life and that I should enjoy every moment regardless of what happens.. herpes is nothing!..its amazing how society has stigmatized the virus so much. I only had one outbreak since my first (and i barely knew it was herpes)...it was more of a rude awakening than anything else. Time heals! and not only does time heal,but its what you do with your time that heals. So tell her to stay busy enjoying the things she loves to do and being with the people who love her the most.
Jul 10, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		for you
by: Chiara

Finding out that you have an STD is devastating, especially for the first year or so. Many people do not understand the feeling that comes with the word, "disease."

In fact, it is now considered politically incorrect to say that someone has an STD. If it helps, explain to her that it's an infection (STI). I know when I was diagnosed, the word "disease" made me feel dirty and like trash. When I think that I have an infection instead of a disease, it makes me feel a whole lot better.

The best thing to do is just be there for her and listen to her woes. Take interest in the subject, even if it's just trying to understand the infection. Do research for her so that you can put her mind at ease -- did you know that gen. HSV affects an estimated 45 million Americans? That means we are NOT alone.

To be honest, I only had ONE outbreak (the first one) and it's been going on over three years since. I've heard of people who have HSV but never show any signs. The beauty of HSV is that the better your immune system is, the less chance of outbreaks there is. At least that's what I read and believe. It is believed that poor health and stress attribute to breakouts so let her know this and help her to take care of herself. Tell her she owes it to herself to be and feel beautiful.

Women never want to feel alone in this world and right now, that's how she probably feels. Keep giving her hugs and kisses and letting her know that she'll never feel alone.

I hope this helps. =]
Jun 30, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Keep loving her...
by: Gary from Happy-with-Herpes

That's a tough situation.

I know how she feels. Many of us that have a Herpes diagnosis felt that way for months if not years after the diagnosis.

Not sure what would have helped at the time. It's a fairly difficult time for any of us.

The research indicates she should get on a medication like Valtrex or Acyclovir right away which will stop the outbreaks. That will make her feel much better.

I guess you should just give her emotional support any way you can. Be there for her. It might take her a while to feel comfortable with her body again. Let her heal and recover at her pace.

And ask her what you can do to make her feel better. If she doesn't say, just do it anyway. Make her feel comforted its a tough time adjusting to this so your tenderness will mean a lot to her. Especially if you reassure her that you're not leaving her.

God Bless,

Gary
Jun 30, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hi,
by: Anonymous

Finding out that you have herpes is world shattering, the only thing that will make her feel better is time. Stick with her and try and convince her that it doesn't make you see her differently.
I personally know what she is going through, if she hasn't already... tell her to go online and research and read other peoples herpes stories.
It helped me a lot, knowing that your not alone. There is no real solution to how to "bring her back to you", you just have to try and help her find her way.

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