Mother of Two; Just Diagnosed, and Not Happy :(
I'm 25, single mother of two, 3 midterms and a paper due this week and all I can think about is this horrible news that I was told about 9 hours ago.
I just found out today and feel devastated and hopeless. I feel like giving up on everything I've been working so hard for and just being self-destructive so no one will come near me.
Clearly, I am having a hard time accepting this. I noticed one small, painless bump and had it checked out. I was expecting the worst (HSV 2), but really REALLY hoping for the best. I don't understand why this would happen now when I am in the best health I have ever been in. I exercise 5 days a week and eat very healthy, so why this breakout now? I have so many questions. Who (did I get it from/ pass it to)? When? Who do I tell? How? I can't imagine the words leaving my mouth, not even to my closest friends or relatives.
I definitely was a victim of the negative stigma that this virus carries and I feel like why would this happen to me? I am healthy, loving, and honest. I go to a prestigious university, I barely go out and I barely have sex. When I do, it is usually protected, but the few times that I have are now kicking my ass. I never thought I would get herpes. I thought I was smarter than that. I hope I'm not offending anyone. I know that what I am saying is a result of the stigma associated with the virus and that beautiful, intelligent, amazing people can get it and that it is not something that affects a certain "type" of person.
I don't know what to do. I mean the obvious, take the meds the doc gave me next time I have an outbreak. But in general, it’s already hard enough for me to find a boyfriend. Now this. I don't feel like I can tell anyone, so I feel like I'd rather just abstain from sex and relationships all together.
This is probably best for me anyways since I have so much going on. But how do I tell the man that I am really interested in that I just can't talk to him anymore. I mean, best case scenario, he has it too. But I doubt that and like I said, I am too scared to say anything to anyone (except for anonymously on this website).
I know I have to stay strong for my daughters, but this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and I have been through A LOT.