Just Diagnosed. Life Will Go On

by Jane
(Midwest)

Hi, well I am a 22 year old female. I am in college to be an Elementary/Special education teacher and am currently in summer break. Yesterday I went to the Doctor for what I thought was a terrible yeast infection...not!


I just had a surgery to enhance my breasts last week so I had been on pain meds for a week which always creates body itching...so I just thought my vagina was itching because of the pain medicine. And then after about 3 days, I could not even walk without yelping and feeling like I wanted to vomit; just the worst pain. The only sort of comfort I had was when I was laying down and

I kept applying Desitin and even started Monistat but nothing was really working or healing. I could tell that my vagina was swollen and I felt some bumps, so I kept checking online with all of my symptoms. What I mostly ran into were people asking the same questions, What is this? "Could it be herpes or a yeast infection or etc." and most of the responses, "That is def. a yeast infection!!" so I was confident in the yeast infection, because I could never have herpes, you know?

Right when the Doctor checked, she said “Oh no, this looks like Herpes”. I lost it right there on the table asked her if I could sit up and just said F*CK!!!! and cried so hard. She asked about my sex life and I asked my mom to step out of the room because I was SO embarrassed.

I got out of a longer serious relationship about 8 months ago and since then I'm not going to lie, I've made some mistakes by sleeping with random people. Definitely not my proudest moments, but all I was doing was having fun usually in a safe way with a condom but not all of the time. My main concern was getting pregnant. And that I am not.

But the last few months I have slept with 2 people and had unprotected sex more than usual. I am just kicking myself so hard right now I wish I could take back time and just not have had a sexual relationship with either. The pain I am having right now is the worst pain I've ever had in my whole life, and peeing is excruciating pain!! So I'm still not sure how to bring this up to these men because I do not feel like talking to either of them one bit right now!

So I cried and cried all day yesterday and today it has been on and off. I have the support of my parents who just wish it was them instead of me and that just breaks my heart. I already realize that I need to stay positive about this because I have no other choice. I have already said, I wish I would die...and that came from a total left field considering on what a great life I live.

So I realized I really cannot live with that kind of attitude to something that really is not a big deal in the scheme of things. I am definitely going to make a lot of lifestyle changes by constantly eating healthy, working out more, drinking less alcohol, sleeping more, absolutely no cigarettes to try and remain outbreak free because I never want to deal with this again!! Although it may be hard at times, it is almost a calling to start being the most healthy I can be.

Another worry I have is in the future, reading a lot of what people have to say on this website has certainly given me hope. I am afraid to and when to confront people and I am afraid I will not be myself...or see myself as sexy anymore. I definitely want to be the person I already am so that is my goal. I don't want to change because I "have herpes". That's not fair to me because it is true...most people could get herpes the same way I did.

I am not nasty, a slut, or a different person. I am me. But I can say there may be a few differences for the better (as long as I do not have an outbreak I can say this...) I think this may make me a stronger woman, a happier soul, less judgmental, a healthier person, possibly find a better love than before, and hopefully I can help others someday.

I just think there needs to be more information spread on this disease so people can wrap their heads around it and be cautious and find a cure!!;)

PS. if anyone wants to share their best solutions, feel free!

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Sep 26, 2013
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My experience
by: Anonymous

I have only had sex with one person my entire life, and guess what, I got genital herpes. I was scared to death. Anyway that relationship ended around a year ago and I recently met the love of my life. Telling her I had herpes was one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. She does not have herpes and I was afraid of what her reaction would be once she found out that I was infected. I knew that I would eventually have to tell her, but didn't know when.

One night over the phone she just asked me if I had an STD and I said no, because I wasn't ready to have that conversation. The next time I saw her which was 2 days later, we had the talk. I was shaking, because I didn't want to loose her over this. Once I told her, the reaction was very calm, but I could tell she was in very deep thought. By this time I was almost crying because I didn't know what she was thinking. She had lots of questions about my ex and how it all happen. She made the comment that she just didn't know about the long term prognosis, like having kids and the risks associated with that.

Well I survived that night and we are at currently 6 months in our relationship and going strong. I love her so much! She is the love of my life and I am excited about what our future holds. We do not talk about it very much at all. She says that it will get on her mind every once in a while, and I understand that it bothers her a little. I just wanted her to understand that Herpes does not define who I am, or the type of person that I am. I am a good guy with a lot to offer a lady, and I think she sees that. There is no doubt in my mind that GOD sent her my way, and I thank him for her everyday. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!


May 28, 2013
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I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

I just turned 21 may 7th, and about a week ago I found out I had HSV 1. I've been devastated because may 5th I started dating the most amazing man I've ever met in my life. I'm so mad at myself for fooling around with the guy before him. We forget that oral sex is sex. I forgot of all the risks and dangers of being sexually active. I've never been a confident woman, so sexual things were always my way of feeling sexy. I never really "slept around", but when dating or talking to someone I wasn't against doing things. I wasn't going to have sex with this guy because I wasn't dating him, but I did give him oral.

Looking back on it now I'm so mad at myself, but hey, what can you do? I told my boyfriend as soon as I found out, and to my surprise he has been accepting of the whole thing. He knows that it's just a skin condition, and not as bad as what people make it out to be. He says he's never going anywhere, and to be honest.....I think I'm in love. Having someone accept something that most would freak out over is an amazing feeling.

Not being able to kiss him right now sucks, but I know when I get on Valtrex everything will be fine. Having someone see me no differently is the best feeling. Having someone who thinks I'm perfect even with knowing this is amazing. Having herpes doesn't keep you from finding love. It does the opposite. Because meeting someone who is 100% accepting of EVERYTHING about you and cares regardless, that's where REAL love starts. I'm really hoping that this is the man I will marry, and if he isn't.....at least I know there's guys out there who can still see me for me, and not this annoying condition that some lying prick gave to me.


Jan 25, 2013
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ALONE
by: Anonymous

Hi,

This is my very first time writing to someone, I found out about this about two weeks ago and to be honest I feel like its just a bad dream and I am going to wake up from it soon. Just like you I had a very bad breakup with a woman, yes I am a lesbian. I felt so down and I guess my heartache got the worst out of me and I ended up sleeping with a guy on a very drunk night whom I knew for a very long time.. and this is what happened.

Now not only am I still hurt by the breakup but this news has made me feel like I am going to end up alone forever, it's already hard to be living in Asia being a lesbian then with this I don't think anyone will ever want to be with me.

I am grateful that my older sister has been supportive but I also know this is something I have to learn to accept and move on with life..

Now that I know there is so many of you out there that shares the same sentiments as me, makes me feel less alone.

I wish you guys the best and all the happiness in the world.


Jan 24, 2013
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Yes, it gets easier!
by: Anonymous

Just to let you all know, life will get back to normal sooner than you think. It's been almost 7 months and have had no problems!! For the first month or so, it was harder on me because I was so worried about life changes. I wanted my friends to understand my concern for them while sleeping around and just to let them know what I had been through! I ended up telling a few best friends... They didn't think different but became aware it can happen. I would have never guessed it but after I told a best friend, she told me a year ago she had gotten it! I am not making this up! It happens, shit happens!

I live life a little healthier now am still working on things but I honestly have not had one problem except for a little tingling sometimes. And I am dating a great guy who tested negative. Seriously he did not care! Of course, he was a little worried at first but shortly after, he just loves me for me and felt bad I had to go trough a shitty deal! Also the name is thrown around with a stigma and I will say whenever I would hear someone say the word or hear it in a movie, I'd like... pause and feel like people knew.... But now I just realize its whatever! Those people don't know exactly what it is, and that's alright! You'll get through it and ill tell you what... You'll be a lot tougher than you are now no matter what you've been through! Hope this helps=)


Jan 23, 2013
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Similar situation
by: Anonymous

I am experiencing my first outbreak, and it is some of the most uncomfortable worst pain I have ever felt. I'm glad you shared your experience, since I am in the same boat. 22 years old and about to graduate with my masters... and then this happens. I just need to know it gets better. I have actually only slept with one person my entire life. So I am also not a skank, slut, etc. Don't you just wonder, why me? I hold in my pee because I dread the pain and burn when I do. Does it get easier?


Nov 15, 2012
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Hey
by: Anonymous

I would love to chat with you and ask questions... I'm so confused and stressed please email me at pharmacy001@gmail.com if you can... Hope you're doing well

Aug 21, 2012
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Me too
by: Hayley

Hey there. Reading your story was like watching a flashback of myself about three weeks ago. Literally the same exact thing happened to me. I'm 18 years old, just about to start college, recently I had sex with this older man and I had just had a yeast infection and a UTI so after I assumed that I just had a really bad UTI still. But then it started to burn when I went pee...worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I figured that maybe I had just tore my vagina a little from the sex and that was causing burning.

I had already been to the doctors and they told me that I had a extremely bad UTI. But then I started getting the flu-like symptoms...headache, muscle ache, and a little nausea. That went away after about three days and then going pee became unbearable. I held my pee which is terrible for a UTI. I wait another day or two and I notice the swelling and burning even more and I officially refuse to pee. I go to the doctors and they put a catheter in it was uncomfortable but anything was better than having to pee. I get it taken out a day later...thinking everything is fine. I held my pee for a full 24 hours after drinking tons of fluids before rushing to the ER to get another catheter put in.

The doctor gives me a pap smear just to check everything down there and he says "I've been doing this a very long time and this looks like herpes." I started crying and I remember saying "my life is over." He put another catheter in and I had to wear it until the sores were gone. But I realized life isn't over. I'm not dying. I called that guy immediately when I found out...which I hope you have done because they could've gave it to God knows who by now because maybe they don't know. The guy I was with had been checked about 3 months ago and only slept with one girl who had been his friend for a very long time...and he never knew.

Me and him are now forming a relationship, not because of our situation but because we actually like each other. I'm very content right now. Life is really looking up, as I'm sure yours will. Feel free to email me at hayleyweston16@hotmail.com if you feel like talking or anything at all :)


Apr 24, 2013
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My baggage
by: Jo

I was looking for a story like this tonight.. I'm having a rough time. I found out about three months ago that I had herpes2. My doctor said my strand that caused my outbreak was an old one. To my knowledge this was the only outbreak I had. It wasn't even that bad. Mine didn't look like any pictures I've seen of herpes2. So I just wrapped my head around the fact, did research and got my sexy feeling back. So I decided to start dating again. Met a guy, we clicked very well, he told me I was everything he was looking for.

I knew things would heat up pretty soon as we hung out more and more. I tried my hardest to tell him in person but couldn't. So I wrote him. He kept thanking me for being honest, and this was such a bummer. I knew that night he already made his decision. The next day he was distant towards me.. So I finally asked him if he researched it. He said he did but I knew he didn't because it wasn't him who had it. He was going from all the typical stereo types he heard. He told me he couldn't see his partner having any issues like this.... Issues really? I've only had one outbreak.

Made me think because I know chicken pox and shingles are cousins of herpes and no one ever leaves their partner if they become infected with those & they're just as contagious. This has really put a down spin on how I feel about having herpes2. I'm trying to keep my glass half full but it's so hard. I just keep thinking.. Why should I let someone in, be honest to them because someone wasn't to me and I didn't get an informed choice of taking the risk or not. Makes me feel like I'll be alone for life... All I want is a good relationship, marriage and a family. This is my first and only guy I've told, I can't imagine more!!!!! Ugh..


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