HPV Before, HSV 2 Now. But Life is Bigger Than Them.
I was diagnosed last week with HSV2... it wasn't totally unexpected as I had a special relationship with someone who had contracted it 20 years ago.
I had the HPV virus, which I got from my ex husband over 25 years ago. Both of us had an STD virus and we totally accepted each other and were careful. Sadly we had to end our romantic relationship because of work and family commitments but are still good friends.
That was 6 months ago, and I had no symptoms until a couple of weeks ago - I have always been very aware of my body because of the warts and for over 20 years have regularly checked for any changes. I thought I had the flu, but also had vaginal itching and spots around my navel and 2 small ones on the outside of my vagina. I just knew... and spent the weekend in bed, crying and researching how I could manage it naturally.
I was tested on the Monday and confirmed on Thursday morning. Thursday afternoon I met the new man I am dating and had to tell him. He was wonderful, accepting and supportive - but our relationship is so new I don't know where it will go. I really like him as a friend, and want more, but if that is where it stays I want to keep the friendship. I'm not sure if I would pursue a physical relationship with someone who had two incurable STD's so I understand if he doesn't.
It is a difficult time for me because the HPV has flared up again with the HSV 2, after being dormant for 26 years. It is this that has caused me so much additional emotional grief.
I had the warts burned off and then 12 years of abnormal smears with the worry about getting cervical cancer. I had two more babies and worried about it when pregnant. All that emotion was buried to make the pregnancies and births special experiences for me and my babies (and they were the most beautiful home births).
After I left my marriage of 25 years (because of infidelity again) 6 years ago I was on my own for 5 years because I was too scared of rejection and was very mistrustful (only understanding that now - was happy on my own but couldn't figure out why I was for so long!). It has been a long road with that virus and this diagnosis is almost a gift to be able to release the emotional pain from that one!
I have found in the last week that I have amazingly supportive and good friends, that I won't be rejected if I tell a date and that I have natural tools to control this. I have cried and cried but I know that is part of the process, won't last forever and that my heart and body have an enormous capacity for healing.
I wish I didn't have these viruses but I do. It is definitely better than being given 6 months to live which I was at the age of 23 - I am still here, healed myself naturally and want to continue living my live as an inspiration to others.
My goal is to treat this naturally as well and like a small inconvenience... so I'm off to take my lysine, Vit C and Zinc with a dinner of lysine rich foods and then I will have an early night :-)