Hope Takes Us to Places We've Never Seen Before

by Hanna
(Milwaukee, WI)

I'm a 21 year old female who was diagnosed with herpes recently. I'm in the middle of my first and horrible outbreak (over 20 large blisters) and to make matters worse, it's mostly anally. At first hearing the news made me so depressed and dirty inside. I felt extremely isolated and alone. After a while, those feelings had subsided and now I have never been more hopeful in my life.


I never lived a healthy lifestyle and I never believed I was worth anything more than a good sexual encounter. Granted, I did always wear condoms. God took my extreme sexuality away from me to prove to me that there are other things about me to love and worth caring about.

Having herpes is showing me that I'm beautiful even when I'm wearing clothes. Before, I could never see myself settling down and getting married. I just saw myself sleeping with one guy to the next. Now, I see myself in a beautiful white dress with a man, someday, that wants to be with me for me. I look forward to meeting a sweet man who is able to accept me for who I am.

I came upon this site this morning and it gave me so much unbelievable hope. Everyone's success stories are so amazing. I do hope that someday this STI isn't so banned from conversation. Maybe then, will people think to test for it more often.

I look forward to providing myself with a more meaningful lifestyle. I couldn't see myself living without herpes anymore.

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Nov 09, 2015
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Sep 19, 2013
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Tears of joy
by: Anonymous

I am reading this story and the comments and I am just crying with happiness. I was in a relationship that I stayed in for way too long because he gave me herpes and I didn't think anyone else would want me. I was angry at him, at me, at God wondering why This happened to me. I realized that I didn't know who I was without my sexuality! I thought I was only good for one thing.....I haven't had the strength to date yet but I hope that will change. I'm scared to tell anyone that I have herpes. I don't know if I can handle the rejection. It is really good to hear success stories and people who feel as I feel! Thank you, thank you for this website!


Jan 10, 2013
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thank you for the post!
by: Anonymous

Hearing your story and perspective really inspired me. I was the same way. I was so confident because I was attracting a lot of men sexually but never look at myself as a beautiful person inside. Getting H has made me look deeper in myself and in other people. I am newly diagnosed so I am hoping that this will lead me to happiness that I other wise wouldn't have had.


Jul 18, 2012
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Feel the same way
by: Anonymous

Thanks for that. I'm still trying to come to terms with this and ask myself why me? I know having my son, being a single mom and contracting this virus happened for a reason. I was putting men and my relationships before God and better yet myself. And having sex with men just for the hell of it and filling this void and lack of love inside as well as self esteem. This will make me more of a cautious person and I'm slowly but surely learning to love God, my son and myself.


May 14, 2012
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so true
by: Anonymous

God did this to show us the right path.God is great

May 08, 2012
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Thanks
by: Anonymous

Dear Hanna,

Thanks so much for your beautiful submission.

It's one of the most beautiful ones I have gotten on this website.

I will be using it in my new ebook (The Herpes Survival Guide).

You're totally right. Herpes makes us get some dignity back into our sex lives.

It makes us value things like honesty, beauty, and intimacy more than sex. And I think that these are the things we're looking for anyway in a relationship.

Take good care of yourself because you're worth it.

Gary

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