Guilt and Shame

Here's my deal. About six months ago I guess I experienced my first outbreak. I was suspicious of what was going on but I did not seek medical attention after it all cleared up on its own.

I had herpes in mind, but I wrote it off as a yeast infection or something. I had told the guy I was seeing that something weird was going on and I thought it was herpes. He had painful urination. He and I split up. Never heard a thing from him. I assumed he had a bladder infection or something. No problems for quite awhile. It totally went from my mind.

Then I started dating someone new. We had sex unprotected twice and then I noticed a pain with more symptoms. I told him. I told him I was afraid it was an STD but nothing visible ever came from the pain. He was calm and thought I was wrong. Then later the pain came back, this time with a large visible blister.

This time I went to the Dr and was diagnosed with genital herpes. I have told my boyfriend. However, I am suffering from an immense amount of guilt. I should've gone to the doctor before. If I have given him anything, I don't know what I'll do. This was never my intention but in hindsight I hate myself for not doing something before I got involved with the man I love.

Do I deserve the hell I'm giving myself over this? I feel like a horrible person for having it... I question all of my past decisions and have so much regret.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Herpes Advice Forum.