Guess I'm Meant to be Alone

by Carla P
(Detroit)

Hi,

I wrote Gary yesterday, after telling the guy I was seeing that I had a "cold sore" and since we can't seem to do anything other than "hit the sheets" together, it was best I don't come over.

He went on line, and "did his homework". He just left me a voice mail, telling me that he had no idea how contagious this is, and that, even when I don't have an outbreak, (which I have not in over 3 years), he doesn't want to waste time on someone who could infect him with this "horrible disease". Right, I have read 50 to 80% of adults in this country have Herpes Simplex 1. I cannot even guess how many children have it.

I had my first outbreak around 10 years old. I remember getting them so bad, that I had to go to ER. My upper and lower lips were so swollen, as well as the sores going up my nose. It seemed that when I got a severe upper respiratory infection, which always began with a simple cold, I developed them. My mom (God bless her) had them, my sister, my cousins, whenever we got sick, or our immune system was down, all developed them.

Anyway, right now I do feel sick, worthless. If it were me, because I care about this jerk...I would have been very careful as far as sex, especially oral sex, and kissing. But if you care for someone, it would seem that spending time together, just being close, going out somewhere, would just be perfect. Guessed I really misjudged this guy. He told me that my dating life, and sex life was over, and he feels sorry for me.

Guess right now I do also. I'm in my 50's, and don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.

Maybe this was my entire fault. I should have told him when we met I had "cold sores" or HSV 1. It never crossed my mind. And he said at age 58 he has NEVER dated a woman who had them, NEVER!!!!!!

So I guess this is mine to get over, and to realize that I am alone, and will most likely always be alone.

Thank You for Listening.

Carla

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Nov 16, 2013
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Hang in there!!!
by: L H

This anonymous person below is as much of an idiot as the pig that left you those messages!

Get informed and get on with your life lady... try a dating site for people that really and truly want a deep and meaningful relationship and you will find the man for you! Good luck and God bless!

Nov 04, 2013
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You guys need to take responsibility.
by: Anonymous

Yeah he is a real asshole for not wanting Herpes, what a massive dickhole.

Apr 01, 2012
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Meant to be alone? Hell No!!
by: Liz

Hi Sweetie,

There's no way you are meant to be alone. This guy is an ignorant pathetic creature and not worth your time or tears. Switch your thinking right this second, you ARE worth it. There will be a man who will accept you for all of you. Living with this virus is just that - living with it, and you did the absolute right thing being honest with him. He just didn't have the guts to work it through with you. If he can't do that, then what other things will he not work through with you? A full and loving relationship is all about working through tough times. I think you dodged a bullet there honey.

Dry your tears and realise that you are worth it and you are more than this.

Good luck in your search for love, have the courage to believe in yourself, and tell yourself every day that you love yourself. That's the first step.

I hope this helps.
Liz xx

Jan 30, 2012
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pssht this guys an A hole! FACT!
by: Anonymous

This guys an A hole YOU deserve better than that I hope by now since this has seemed to be posted sometime ago you've realized that. I wish you all the best in finding love and a healthy relationship.

Oct 23, 2011
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He's a loser- you're fine!
by: steph

Carla- that guy is a complete douche! and a weirdo- cold sores are nothing- no normal person would be all freaked out by that- you're not broken or damaged or anything- he is & needs to get an effing grip! sheesh- cold sores? really? no one with an ounce of life experience- medical knowledge or compassion would act like that- there are good men out there your age- my mom just married one- keep looking honey- you'll be fine- & write this guy off as one you just read wrong- next!

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