Everything Will Be Ok

by Elena

First I would like to say, I have NEVER found a website like this one that has actually made me feel not alone in having a STD. So thank you for that, I wish I saw this 2 years ago but oh well.


My herpes story...

I was 19 when I found out I had herpes. I came from a smaller town, and grew up with the idea that STD's would never happen to me. I'm good looking and from a wealthy family. I thought only trashy people get STD's. I was very careless at the time I learned I had herpes.

I had been dating a boy for 3+ years, during high school and the first years of college. I was pretty naive, and thought I was somewhat invincible and that it just wouldn't happen to me. Anyways, I had a pretty rough breakup with this guy at the end of summer and I decided the only way I'd actually get over him would be to go to college and live with my 2 girlfriends who were moving out too for their first time. My mindset was finding cute guys and keeping your mind off your ex. Well I had become pretty accustomed to not always using condoms, and in general not really realizing how many people in the world have herpes, let alone other STD’s and that people wouldn't just tell you if they had one. I ended up finding it extremely easy to get guys, and had about 3 one night stands. I had sex with 2 other guys, both of whom I sort of dated, but they didn't work out. Then, something tragic happened, which caused a downward spiral and I started just drinking more and eventually myself and 1 of my roommates got really sick around the time H1N1 went around. When I went back home to go see the doctor, she said "hey, first time you've been single, in college, lets test you for fun." That was the beginning of my nightmare.

One week later, she called and told me my tests came back positive for an STD. She only said one, Chlamydia, and when she heard my reaction to that, she decided not to tell me I had herpes yet. When I went back home that weekend to get retested to make sure Chlamydia went away, she broke the news that I tested positive for another STD, herpes but she didn't have the heart to tell me over the phone. When I learned this news, that I had herpes, I asked, is it curable and she said no. I 100% thought my entire world was over. I didn't think anyone else had it but me, I had no idea who I had gotten either STD from, but I was devastated.

I ended up moving home immediately to deal with a new life with an STD and didn't think a college town would be the best place to learn to live with it. Unfortunately having herpes wasn't the worst part. It was learning to deal with it, and what happened next was worse. I ended up telling my 2 best friends so that they would understand why I had to suddenly move. That was my mistake and this is why I am choosing to share my story. UNLESS YOU ARE WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH A PERSON, DO NOT TELL ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once 1 of my friends told someone it spread like the plague. People would quietly talk about it behind my back, more times than I can count on all my toes and fingers.

I wasn't even okay with myself or what I had, but learning to love yourself when you hate something you can't change is so hard when other people make you feel like you’re absolutely disgusting, dirty, untouchable and unlovable. If I even looked at a guy or talked to one, without doubt, there would be someone to let him know, she has herpes, walk away. My good friends would defend me or deny it, but enough people had told me I should just be honest and whether it was a guy or girl, friend or potential boyfriend, if I even talked to them, it was their right to know I had herpes. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG!!!! It is absolutely no one’s business to know, unless you plan on sleeping with them. What was harder than learning to accept it and accept myself, was figuring out how someone else would accept me when all I had experienced was rejection in every way and to every degree.

I did make the mistake of sleeping with 2 people and not telling them. I had learned to control my herpes; I didn't stress out, took my medicine, and still to this day have only had 1 outbreak. I did in fact learn of other family members who shared the disease and they shed a lot of light on the actual real facts instead of the doctor’s horrifying facts. For 1, if you are not having an outbreak, you will not spread herpes. I did have sex with 2 people, which I regret more than anything and wish I had done it right, but no one can imagine how to deal with that unless you are in that position. All I knew was rejection, and I thought if I ever wanted to be sexual, I just had to lie. I did end up coming clean to those 2 people and both were tested and STD free. Thank GOD. And when I did have sex with someone with them fully informed of my situation, it was OK, I didn't feel like I would never be loved.

What I realized is that even though you have a STD, there are people out there, not everyone, and not a ton, but there are people who will not deny you because of that simple fact. However, the most important thing I learned from so many people knowing about me is that it’s not always the case that people just want nothing to do with it, it’s that so many people are so uninformed and all they know is the Google image definition of herpes and that it’s incurable. However, when you know yourself, and you know the facts about herpes in general and your own case of herpes, it is so much more tolerable and explainable. I was young when I found out, and I wouldn't say I dealt with it in a way I'd hope for anyone else just finding out, but from so many people finding out about me, I learned so much about myself and others.

Like I said, it is no one else's business unless you’re getting physical with them, but telling someone after just learning their name isn’t a good way to go about it. I was single for 2 years after learning I had genital herpes. I have had 1 outbreak, and I have a boyfriend. He does not have herpes and he does know I have it. I told him in a letter, so that I could thoroughly explain myself and everything about herpes. Not saying that is right for everyone, but for myself I needed to get it all out, minus the emotions. He accepted me instantly for it and said he respected me so much for being honest. We are in love now and have been together for almost 5 months. I still cannot stand TV shows, movies or people who mention herpes, or make jokes about it. It is so disrespectful and thoughtless, considering how many people around you do have herpes, or have it and aren't aware. It will never be easy, you will always battle it, but I want people to know, I went through such a difficult experience for years, but it does get better. I am living proof of what not to do, but still being honest and being happy almost 3 years later.

Thank you Gary for this website.

Comments for Everything Will Be Ok

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 13, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
ef NEW
by: Anonymous

transfer mxf video to avi, mp4, WMV, MOV FCP,iMovie, download software mxf converter, convert p2 mxf camcorder files. mxf to avi mp4 mov mkv with convert mxf files via avchd video converter. For Mac OS users mxf converter mac, this video converter converts
mxf to mp4 video and mxf to wmv files conversion for playing on iPad iPhone, or transfer mxf to iMovie for further editing...

Aug 31, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
hey NEW
by: Alice E. Harrison

Congratulations! It's just incredible. I`m so happy about you! Let the disease recedes completely.

I`ve already recovered and now i`m able to do my own business! So, if you need to certificatecoursesonline.co.uk
- please contact me:) Good luck!"

Aug 25, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
interesting post NEW
by: Antonia Coombes

dissertation writing service reviews you can order here.

Aug 20, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
a problem with the gall bladder NEW
by: Anonymous

You have a problem with the gall bladder? http://galdbladderhelp.com/ help you

Aug 20, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
bestcelebritysurgery NEW
by: Anonymous

Discover the best http://bestcelebritysurgery.com/! They’re really the best ones!

Aug 03, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Good post NEW
by: Amanda

How many people know what is Darren Chriss height? You can easily discover it by clicking this hyperlink. You'll find there many interesting facts.

Jul 24, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
home remedies? NEW
by: Anonymous

Are you interested in home remedies? http://homeremedieshelper.com/

Jul 24, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
beautiful and healthy NEW
by: Rodney Melody

You want to be beautiful and healthy?http://muscularkingdom.com/do fitness

Jul 13, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
interesting post NEW
by: Benton Breshears

click here for more in case you need to improve your essay writing skills.

Jul 09, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
NEW NEW
by: Tom

You can search for a better article but you can't. I like this site for good articles just as http://www.bestessaysforsale.net .

Jul 07, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Nice blog! NEW
by: David

Man, can you believe that Tina Fey net worth is $50 million? If you don't believe, just look here.

Jul 02, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Nice post NEW
by: PaulMcKein

college term papers for all who want to improve their grades in College.

Jun 27, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
No regrets! NEW
by: Helen

Just try to order essay uk online and you will not regret the choice!

May 29, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Good post NEW
by: Raphael Ernser

What a great blog you have!
May I ask you to place some ads of my site halloweencostumesmax on you blog?
I really love your awesome site and want to offer good money for ads on your site! Please, answer me and let's discuss all the details!

Thank you very much!

May 22, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Good post NEW
by: Harold Robel

You have a professional niche site, thank you for your awesome work!
May I ask to do a favor for me? - I really want to publish some ads of my site costumelook on your blog and will pay you good money!
Your niche blog is one of the best I saw, please, answer me and we will discuss all the details! Thank you!

Aug 10, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thanks
by: Anonymous

I really need to read stories about people my age because of the hard time I am having. Although, you actually CAN infect someone when symptoms of herpes aren't present. That is actually how I was infected.


Oct 18, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thanks for the encouragement!
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing the experience of being able to be upfront about having Herpes and still being accepted with it. It CAN happen to anyone. I got it from the only man I had ever had sex with at the time, 2 years after we had gotten together (he only had oral Herpes, somewhere in his mouth).

Twelve (12) years of unprotected sex later, he never broke out on his penis. But we broke up and now I'm facing dating with this thing that I see as a virus that hasn't bothered me in years, but everyone else sees as a DISEASE and panics.


Click here to add your own comments

Return to Success Stories.