Curves, Nerves and Perves

by Lauren
(Madison, New Jersey)

Just found out this morning that I have herpes.

I'm angry, upset and almost relieved. I don’t know when I got it or from who. I don’t know how far in partners I have to go back. How many people do I have to tell? I know this happens to a lot of people, I know it is not my fault, but I should have known better.

YET

For as far as I know 23 hours herpies positive... and I have laughed over 15 times today. That’s got to mean something.

Be around the people that love you.

The people that could care less that you have this.

And maybe tell the people you have been with. And try not to kill them :). I know I am going to live a happy, exciting and fulfilled life and maybe it’s because this has changed me or maybe it’s despite how it has changed me.

I'm scared.

But I now can't imagine myself without it.

I don’t think I should have to hide it. My mother says I should. I should keep it under wraps. No one needs to know except if you are being intimate. But for some reason I want a shirt that says "I HAVE HERPES" on the front and "DO YOU?" on the back. I’ll get over being scared but I will always remember this day as a very odd positive (in a few aspects) day filled with love and compassion.

So my advice: get up off this computer, go outside, grab someone you love and go for a walk and tell them. The more you say it the better it will sound. Its part of you now like a tattoo or a pet.

Your life is more than this.

Live above this, not under this!

P.S

Stop looking at herpes pictures. Just look at your own if you want to see it so bad :) Night. I love you all smile one for me.

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