Catching Herpes from a Lesbian Girlfriend

by Anonymous

Well I’m a lesbian and I recently started dating someone. Just got over a bad break up as well. My new girlfriend two weeks ago started breaking out in and around her nose. She said it was from her allergies and I thought nothing of it. She gave me oral sex. And needless to say I now have Genital Herpes.

The weird part is that she comes up negative in a blood test but I'm positive I got it from her. So now I have to wait for her nose to act up again so she can get a culture swab. Anyways went and saw a gyno (not my usual one because it was an emergency) he took one look and said its herpes. I immediately started bawling my eyes out and can you believe he just left the room and let me cry there by myself?

Then a few minutes later he came back, handed me prescriptions and a Genital Herpes pamphlet and sent me on my way. I could have punched him. Anyway my outbreak was terrible I mean I couldn't walk for a week and a half I'm taking 2gms of Valtrex a day. They are finally scabbed over, thank God. But I really wish I would have known that you could catch it like that. Or I wish I would have followed my instinct on being leery about it but either way I have it and it sucks but I'm coming to terms with it.

A few close friends and family members have it so I have a pretty good support system that I'm very thankful for. So now I'm just trying to learn as much as I can so I can try my best not to infect anyone else.


Dear Anonymous,

Thanks for sharing that story with us. Herpes gets passed quite commonly from oral sex to the genital area. 40% of genital herpes cases are from oral sex.

I`m glad you shared your story because not too many lesbians have shared their experience on this website. So it is a welcome contribution.

You seem to have a good attitude about it. Taking medication is very important in the beginning as well as getting into a support group. I suggest doing both of these steps as well as five others in my Herpes Survival Guide.

Thanks again. Hopefully readers can learn from this about being careful with cold sores during sex.



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Jan 03, 2014
Lets join together
by: NavyBlue

GHSV +1 has a very low rate of asymptomatic viral shedding (compared to HSV2 or oral HSV1) so although the risk is not ZERO, it is pretty damn close to zero if you avoid oral sex during symptoms.

Also for any ladies reading this, there seems to be a low representation of us on the H community. I am trying to start an online group so we can share experience. Please email me at

Once I have a few of us I will get the group together.

Dec 26, 2013
Thanks for your story!
by: Shae

Thanks for your story, I thought you were brave to share it. :) And I'm sorry to hear that you've had this experience, it sounds like it was tough, and a real shock. :(

I'm another lesbian, and I actually don't have herpes (either kind), but my last relationship was with a partner who had both (and who had caught it off her previous girlfriend).

It was actually a little hard for me to decide to be with her sexually - I did because I loved her, but to be honest I'm very health-conscious in general and really don't want to catch any STDs or STIs.

We didn't have sex during any visible outbreaks (and we had a wonderful, fulfilling and varied sex life), and luckly I still tested herpes-free after the relationship ended.

I'd just like to comment that I love websites like this and people's personal stories... because I feel that people in general are under-informed when it comes to risk of sexually transmitted stuff.

That's certainly very true for the queer (non-straight) community here in Australia. Most gay and bi women don't seem to practice safe sex, and harbour a belief that lesbian sex is safe.

It may be lower risk for some STDs and STIs, but we're still definitely at risk, and we can still cut that down by safe sex.

Open communication (like this website!), and people talking about the issues and supporting each other, rather than hiding in shame... that's the way to go! <3

Feb 23, 2013
herpes is contagious
by: Anonymous

herpes is contagious even without breakouts. sores may heal but the virus is in inactive form in nerves and can still be transmitted in any way of contact.

Nov 30, 2012
Girlfriend Just Told Me She Has GH, Looking for Advice...
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your story. I, too, am a lesbian and I just started dating someone and I was told very open and honestly (which I appreciate) that she has genital herpes. I have never been with a partner with this condition so naturally I am leery. However, I am deeply into her and see long term potential so I want to learn about the condition and how to avoid contracting it because I do plan on staying with her. Perhaps you (or someone else reading this) can help with some basic questions:

Is it absolutely safe to have oral sex with her when there is no breakout?

Are all forms of contact safe when there is no breakout?

During the early stages of a breakout (and perhaps when she is not aware a breakout is coming), is there a risk involved in contracting it?

Thank you. I would appreciate any feedback.

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